Where Have I Been + Updates!

Hey beautiful creatures!

How are you all doing?

So I am aware that I have been away for such a long time and this one is mainly for my followers. First of all THANK YOU for following my blog and/or youtube! Sometimes I feel terrible because I feel like I am letting you all down. I want to kind of talk about a few things today.

But first where have I been? 

To be completely honest, I've just not been feeling great. I am mentally ill and quite severely depressed (which I am not using as an excuse) but sometimes I just don't want to put myself out there and interact. I have been having a difficult time with life at the moment! I don't want to be a debby downer but it's true and one of the main things I pride myself on is being open and honest. I'm not going to go too much into it but it stops me from doing a lot of things in real life and also online. Sometimes I think I can kind of be someone else online because no one knows me but I'm kind of sick of not being ME! 

Which brings me onto the point:

I hate the clothes/style I have! 

This might sound really stupid as I have a fashion blog, but honestly... I HATE "MY" STYLE!

Main reason being because it really isn't my style. It's not how I want to express myself, it's just my defense mechanism. I am actually a lot more "Alt" in real life. I tend to only really wear black and my style is and always has definitely been a bit different. Now I'm not saying I look completely goth or scene or emo or alternative or whatever sterotypical label normal people would give me, but I definitely dress differently from most of the people I know and my friends.

But I always cover it up on the internet and even in some extent on the internet. I don't know why and it actually really upsets me thinking I felt the need I HAVE to not express myself and dress the way I WANT to dress!

I really want to start dressing how I want to dress and I don't even give a shit anymore if I look weird. I've already started aiming my style a little bit more towards what I want it to be with my makeup and hair. But I've always warn reasonably dark makeup. I dyed my hair to be "different" but also to be happy. You see I am a very confused individual and after years of social anxiety and not fitting in (when I looked quote on quote "normal") I put my walls up. I dumbed down my identity and I sacrificed my self expression to fit in. But it never even worked. I wasn't anymore excepted and I just felt like a complete and utter sell out. 

I'm not saying I'm going to switch completely overnight and next time you see me I'll be in all black and have a shit load of piercings (though I do have a new tattoo and am planning my half sleeves! WAY more of a tattoo person that a piercing person!) and look completely different. Because it doesn't work that way. I'm not a poser or a wannabe, well in some respects I guess I am. But I just want to dress the way I want to dress. I  have no friends. At all! So it's not like I'm going to start dressing/looking this way to fit in with a certain scene or group of people. NO. I'm doing this for me. 

I'm sick and tired of trying to cover up who I am and who I want to be. If I want to wear all black, heavy makeup, backcombed hair and have tattoos, I will do that! I don't really care what people have to say to be honest and I don't care about being sterotyped. 

To be honest I just want to delete my old youtube and start again because I know this will probably start shit but I don't really care too much. That being said, even though I don't care if it starts shit (because I don't actually care about irrelivant people's opinions anymore) I just can't be bothered to DEAL with the shit. There is definitely a difference. I started this blog and my youtube to express myself but by being careful and even I guess FAKE I just am defeating the object of why I started it.

UPDATES:

I got a new tattoo on my arm. Go to my instagram @trisexplicit to see it!

I'm planning to get both my inner forearms ( I think that's the area LOL) completely done and have someone VERY special (HOPEFULLY) designing my tattoo design! EEEK!

I'm learning how to metalcore scream, growl and yell. (Wanted to do this forever!)

I'm start a solo metal project called Tris Explicit. 

I'm thinking of getting a lip piercing.

I am now 19!

I had a great birthday!

I *MAY* be seeing someone ;) 

And yes I can't really think of anything else to be honest. Apart from the fact that I am a lot happier with myself and my life than I have been for a while.

Hope this wasn't too boring. And here is the pic of what my hair was supposed to look like/did look like originally: 

Pink Clove.

First off!

Heeeeeyyy baby gurrllll! ;)

Anyone who watches Total Divas and/or is a Diva fan will get that referrence and anyone who doesn't, won't!

Above is my first picture in my "Selfie Sunday" series. Every Sunday up to christmas (and probably a little while after that) I will post a selfie either here and/or on twitter & instagram !

Anywho! I got some NEW PLUS SIZE CLOTHING from a very lovely online site called pink clove ! I got 6 items and actually got an array of different things. Ranging from a pair of leggings, to a dress! Yes, you read correctly: a dress!

In fact let's start with that little beauty!

Tartan Skater Dress: 26/28: £22

Now I do apologize for the mess in the background, as it got a little dark outside so I had to have the pictures taken inside, in my sister's room!

This tartan skater dress is a little beauty. Now I DON'T wear dresses...EVER! I've never really had the confidence and hate showing off my legs. It really gives me anxiety in all honesty. But I'm so glad I got this dress. First off it's a skater dress so in MY opinion, it is very flattening on a bigger frame. I like the print of the dress and don't think it is as overpowering as I thought it would be. I must admit when I opened the packaged I was a bit intimidated by the look of it! 

The sizing is very true to size, I got this in a size 26/28 (you can't chose the individual sizes, you have to get a / size) and it fit well. The belt is a little cheap feeling but that is to be expected as it came as a freebie I guess.

The quality is REALLY nice actually and there is a good weight to the fabric. It will definitely keep you warm in the colder months. I just paired it with some basic black tights.

Roses ombre tshirt: 26/28: £15

Black skater skirt: 26/28: £10

The next outfit is made up of two/three of the items I got from the store. Again, paired with black tights, I was pushed out of my comfort zone and got a skirt. It's also a skater skirt so I was really excited to try that! My sister wears some skater skirts and they look really nice on her. So I thought I would give them ago.

This waffle jersey skirt is quite basic but a really nice material and will most likely go with anything. I paired it with the ombre roses top which is basically a dressy t-shirt. You can't see the ombre effect on the top as I paired it with the skirt and obviously it covers it up, but if you follow the link you can have a look. Basically, the pink fades into a sort of greyish colour. The sleeves are black and so is the back so it's not too overpowering. And there is an exposed zipper on the back also which gives it a nice touch.

Red/black cardigan: 26/28: £12

I paired it with another item I got from Pink Clove. A beautiful swing cardigan that is red and black. I thought it tied in quite nicely with the top and it made a colder evening rather more bareable. I love the quality of the cardigan. It is SO soft and a really nice material! I find it is the perfect length and perfect size. I did actually order a size up (30/32) but they gave me a 26/28 which I actually prefer, however had it gone the other way, it would of not been so good!

Grey/black peplum top: 26/28: £12

Blue/black check leggings: 26/28: £10

This next outfit is a bit more casual. All of the pictures turned out blurry so this is the only decent picture I could retrieve from the bunch! My apologies!

This outfit was kind of just thrown together for purpose of the picture, however, looking at it I do kind of like the combination! The grey and black peplum style top is nice but I felt like it was a bit tight. It might just of been the lycra-esque material but I wasn't overimpressed with it! I really like the design and look and it felt nice enough, just not amazed by it like the I was with all the other items!

The contrast peplum top is really nice, the peplum is not too high, nor too low and gives a nice peplum shape. I still think it's a really good price for the quality and style and I have lately become addicted to peplums. I will definitely be wearing this alot!

Talking of things I will be wearing a lot, these blue and black check print leggings were a total steal! Retailing at £10 they are the best quality leggings I have tried. However, they do seem to run a little small, depending on your size. I normally wear a size 20-22 legging but got these in a size 26/28 for "just in case" reasons. I was a little shocked when they fit perfectly! The waist is a little big though but on the leg they fit perfect. Now I don't know if that is a good or bad thing, sizewise!

Anyway, I absolutely love these leggings! Everything about them, from the fit to the print to the price! Ah-Maze-Ing Darling! (Sorry, had to get a strictly come dancing line in there somewhere, as I've been addicted to the series so far!)

The clothes are all fantastic quality. The customer service was great and the social aspect of the company was nice too. They were very quick to respond to my tweets and facebook message and were very supportive. I am very happy with their product and will definitely be buying from them again. I often find that, especially with plus size clothing, it is very hard to buy nice quality, fashionable, inexpensive clothes nowadays. But Pink Clove ticks all the boxes!

Here are all the links to each item and the link to Pink Clove also!

They also have a 30% off tops sale on at the moment, so hurry up and have a look before it runs out!

Definitely recommend getting some of their great clothes!

Pink Clove: http://www.pinkclove.co.uk

Check Print Leggings: http://www.pinkclove.co.uk/leggings-c5/check-print-legging-p63

Peplum top: http://www.pinkclove.co.uk/tops-c1/peplum-top-with-contrast-upper-p13

Cardigan: http://www.pinkclove.co.uk/tops-c1/red-black-swing-cardigan-p38

Skater dress: http://www.pinkclove.co.uk/dresses-c2/tartan-skater-dress-with-belt-p53

Skater skirt: http://www.pinkclove.co.uk/skirts-c3/waffle-jersey-skater-skirt-p45

Roses ombre top: http://www.pinkclove.co.uk/tops-c1/woven-front-top-with-ombre-roses-print-p22

*All prices were correct at the time of blog post and were taken from the website, exlcuding the discounts from the 30% off tops.*

Thanks for reading!

Is there anything YOU have you're eye on from Pink Clove?

When Shadows Remain

Bridget Nicole

xoxo